My background includes training at the Film Institute in Pune, working in the film industry, pursuing a self-healing journey, and being involved in sustainability and the unschooling movement. I have also deeply engaged with Nonviolent Communication (NVC) as a practitioner, trainer, and learner, as well as exploring self-management and holacracy. I see interconnections in life around us and like to integrate them to work with a whole systems approach when I support my client community.
I founded Ahimsagram to develop sustainable, self-organized, high-conscious businesses, and now I integrate my diverse learning experiences to support couples and families in building collaborative and compassionate relationships.
Some people know me for my work with food, while others reach out for support in homeschooling journeys or involvement in social change and environmental movements. Many more know me for my work with NVC and Holacracy.
I went into films because it was a rich ground for learning and discussing relationships and social change. I became involved in food and farming because I wanted to heal myself, and I dived into Nonviolent Communication (NVC) when I needed a language to engage with the challenges in my own relationships.
For about ten years, I traveled around the world and lived out of my backpack in the spirit of the gift economy, sharing my learning freely while the community took care of and nurtured me. I was shaken from the comfort of my film world when I developed asthma after my divorce and decided to take charge of my health. I experienced some major Breakthroughs, but I realized that food alone was not enough; my challenges in relating to and engaging with people—specifically, my struggle to express myself—were contributing to my chronic illness.
II began to see the connection between my autoimmune disorder and my capacity to engage fully with those around me. I viewed NVC as a way to be authentic while maintaining connection with others through compassion, and I knew I needed to delve deeper into it.
I have not been able to embark on a certification journey because I still resist the limitations that structured programs impose. However, I am not closed to it as an option. Instead, I have focused on creating my own unschooled learning journey around nonviolent Communication (NVC), and I am proud of the work I have accomplished.
Having experienced the power of authentic and compassionate communication through NVC, I am now integrating it with my other learnings to offer a holistic approach that aims to transform the way we relate to each other, especially in intimate relationships and families.
I have been inspired by the wisdom of Fukuoka on ‘Do Nothing Farming’, John Holts' Escape from Childhood, Vinobha Bhave’s Bhudan Yatra, Liedloff’s Continuum concept, Marshall Rosenberg on NVC, Fedirch Laloux on Re-inventing Organizations and Brian Robertson on Holacracy. All these works resonate with me, along with my own life experiences, in my coaching and courses for those who join them.
I learned that NVC is very effective for one-on-one relationships but not sufficient for team dynamics. It also requires significant effort and learning from the person who wants to incorporate it into their life.
I believe in democracy at all levels, not just parliamentary democracy. My mission is to share the freedom I have learned to feel open and safe in taking care of my needs while honoring the needs of my partner in our relationship.
I also created Ahimsagram as a laboratory for self-management and collaboration where I invited 7–8 people to come and live together while making decisions through collaboration and conflict resolution systems while integrating the principles of Nonviolent Communication(NVC). It was a rigorous laboratory where, while living these principles, I also developed my muscles for collaboration in ways that are not just inclusive but also effective. I realized that for some time I was being inclusive, but we were not effective at delivering what we were supposed to do. This gap made me look for answers and I found it in Holacracy, which taught me how to organize as a team in ways that were effective as well as inclusive.
One of the biggest learners of Holacracy was to have a system that responds to the day-to-day tensions of the workings of the organization and processes them collectively to do course corrections by either acting at the operational level or making the policies and changing the structure of the organization. This makes the process evolutionary and organic. This kind of organization is akin to a living system, like our body or natural ecosystems.
Having seen the beauty of self-management systems, I now integrate them into my work with families, where I am helping people learn to see tensions as a vehicle of change and sharing with them the ways to process them so they can evolve and grow collectively.
I am now coaching individuals, couples and families with the skills to work on their connection by addressing the day-to-day challenges in ways that don't sound like blame and attack.
I am also hosting a membership session where we meet once a week and learn ways to build authentic and compassionate relationships, and we have built a safe online community space where we are all growing together. It is a place where we come together to create knowledge and address our day-to-day issues with peer support.
I am now curating a Teal Family Retreat, where we are working towards building relationships/families that are collaborative, inclusive, transparent and also evolutionary. Where people create safe spaces to work on their differences and turn them into opportunities. It's like as humanity moves into a higher consciousness, what will our relationships and families look like in that world? People who want to create new and alternate systems that make space for freedom, autonomy and interdependence with our dear ones are inspired to join these retreats, where we share nuts and bolt skills to develop this utopian vision.
In this enlightening episode, we sit down with 𝐒𝐡𝐚𝐦𝐦𝐢 𝐍𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐚, a 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐜𝐨𝐚𝐜𝐡 dedicated to 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐝𝐮𝐚𝐥𝐬 and 𝐟𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐛𝐮𝐢𝐥𝐝 𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐜 and 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 in their 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 and 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩𝐬. Shammi introduces us to the transformative power of 𝐍𝐨𝐧𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 (𝐍𝐕𝐂), sharing actionable insights and wisdom to 𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩𝐬.
Shammi Nanda, a multifaceted guest on The DiviShow, is not only a holistic filmmaker and sustainability advocate but also an experienced relationship and family coach. With expertise in Nonviolent Communication (NVC), he guides individuals and families towards healthier, more empathetic connections and offers unique insights into conscious communication, conflict resolution, and fostering deeper relationships. Join us as he shares his wisdom on both personal and interpersonal growth.
1984 Anti-Sikh Carnage, which I got to know through the media and was there after a year of it in Delhi, which had some tell-tale marks on the physical and emotional psyche of the city. It made me see fear in my Sikh friends who even chose to leave the country as they didn't feel safe anymore. Till today, people have not got much relief from the state which had totally collapsed during the cargo which led to killings and injuries of thousands of Sikhs in Delhi and around the country. This made me see the cost of violent thinking and the lack of spaces for dialogue, which can end the cycles of violence.
The Bhopal Gas Leak from Union Carbide Plant, which killed thousands of people and impacted some with severe damage, made me look at the insensitivity of big corporations and the toxicity of modern agriculture, which operates with total disregard towards people and our environment. It was part of the protests for compensation, which helped me see the cost of open dialogue during conflicts and the cost of imbalances in structural power.
My mother passed away after a prolonged illness, where I was also one of her caretakers for some time. I saw her lose her power, in all senses and one of the reasons I see it as a lack of space for difficult conversations in our homes, and tendency to put them under the carpet. I guess she paid a great cost for it.
She was very sad and disempowered for some time before her death. Her death followed by more rifts in our family, which we could never address. I feel sad that people who were once close to each other are totally disconnected, seemingly beyond repair. I have a mourning for this loss of connection in my family and my work with NVC is also about understanding the loss and learn from it so I dont make the same mistakes in my future and also support others in addressing their conflicts in more effective and humane ways.
Being part of the Film Institute Strikes, while also being the president of the Students Association. We stalled the government's attempt to privatize the Institute. I learnt that we can make things change if we can have a voice. I also regret that at moments I was using aggressive ways of community building to make the strike a success, and in that not being able to listen, hold diversity and collaborate. I also celebrate that I was able to, as a representative, bring the process of building the whole syllabus of the Institute collaboratively by creating a review committee of experts, teachers and students, which was finally implemented and is still being used.
My asthma, which I developed while I was working on films and going through a challenging divorce. I was told to see inhalers as the only and permanent option. I met people like Vinita Mansata and Vijaya Venkat, who gave me a new direction towards self-healing and wellness. I have learnt to trust the body and give it living foods, rest, sunlight, etc. that it needs. When there is an imbalance in the body or some 'dis-ease', I need to go and see the conditions that are leading to the imbalanced state and not try to suppress the system. I apply the same principles in my communication, where I see all kinds of feelings as a feedback system that leads me to my needs which could be met or unmet at any given moment.
Connecting to Nonviolent Communication(NVC), I happened to be at an NVC gathering where I met both the trainers and people who wanted to bring it into their lives. The time there gave me hope for a world where we can connect with each other in the spirit of joyful giving and receiving. It allows me to share my honesty while trying to see where the other person is coming from. It allows me to engage with people around me even when they are doing that. It's difficult to hear and see, because I see their expressions as an outcome of their unmet needs instead of it being an attack on me. It makes me feel more safe at times, even in difficult conversations.
As I grew up and came across some vegan friends. I was at a gathering and met Yorit and Aviram at the gathering, just when they had started in Sadhana forest in Auroville. I was making some tea and offered it to them. They said that they didn't want to take anything from anyone who had been chained for 24 hours.
My first reaction was, what is wrong with these people? Why are they making such a big drama about it? However, time passed by, and their statement stayed with me. Over time, as I read about the food systems, climate change, veganism, I got inspired to stop having any animal products and gradually stopped having meat and all dairy. I wanted to try to integrate nonviolence as much as I can in my part of life, not just in my communication but the small actions that I take that deny others of their needs
Similarly, when I was traveling once in Assam from Guwahati to Tinsukia by bus for about 9 hours of the bus journey, I was just watching tea estates around the highway. I had also read about how indentured labor had been brought from other states like Andhra and Orisaka to come and work in the Tea Estates set up by the British. Also, seeing how tea grows is a monoculture makes the whole ecosystem vulnerable and deplets the soil. I could no longer find a reason to have tea, more so as it also had caffeine, which in itself is not good for our body. This prompted me to eliminate tea from my diet.t.
When I was traveling in Kenya, I saw coffee plantations and found the story was the same as it was for a team in India. Besides, the caffeine angel was here too and so was the idea of indentured labor. I also realized that the present-day problems in Africa were also connected to colonialism and saw the connection of coffee too with it too. I somehow got disenchanted with coffee and left that too.
Besides, my journey with healthy food and my interaction with The Health Awareness Center(THAC) made me connect with food in even more conscious ways and see what food meant for humans and I resonated with what I learnt from them.
I have included more raw and steamed food; don't overcook, no gluten, no white sugar. I also see the impact of food on our emotional state and a big part of my coaching as well as residential workshops is also about food and how we can eat in ways that give us more energy, which also helps us in challenging emotional challenges much better.
Masanobu Fukuoka
His book ‘One Straw Revolution’ gave me the confidence to trust the organic wisdom of life, whether it be for natural farming or natural healing. This led me into a journey around food, both preparing and growing, while trusting mother earth.
Gandhi
His autobiography has been an inspiration for learning to live with your inner calling and engaging steadfastly in the most difficult times. He also helped the people of India to get in touch with their inner power and question the legitimacy of British to rule India.
I have been moved by this man’s work that made me make it as my passion and mission to see a world where we can all come together to collaborate and live in authentic peace and compassion. He taught me that its not what people are but what they do and we need to also look at why they do what they do, thereby showing a pathway to see the humanness of all.
I admire Miki's understanding of systemic violence and how structural imbalances contribute to the violence in the world. I appreciate how she not just talks about those who may not have this power to have this awareness but invites those who are in the privileged position to step up and acknowledge these imbalances and work towards addressing them.
It's enlightening to see how Kabir expresses profound wisdom around how we can be close to our humanness in the most simple and easy ways. His words are sung in so many local languages and dialects because of the depth and simplicity which is imbibed by people from diverse backgrounds. He has put the messages of ahimsa which is very moving for me.
Am grateful to Vijaya Venkat ji who founded The Health Awareness Center(THAC). It has shaped my journey with food and healing. I find her approach in alignment with Fukuoka's principles of 'do nothing' farming which helps us to let nature and body to do its work it has to do a living eco-system and to give it the supportive atmosphere for it so we can be in a state of optimum health.
NVC A Language of Life
Marhshall's book on Nonviolent Communication is both simple and deep. I see that he has talked about moving from right/wrong thinking to a world where each one's needs matter and are seen.
The book gives you learnings that you can begin to apply in your day to day living with ease. I was also part of initial conversation with Dinesh ji of Banyan Roots where we decided to publish the Indian Edition to make it more accessible to the people in this region.
I like the title of this book, which reminds us that we need to take care of ourselves, before we offer care to others. I have learnt to hold on to my authenticity and honesty while holding care for others and my partner. Being Me Loving You Course is inspired by this work on Marshall on intimate relationships.
One Straw Revolution by Masanobu Fukuoka
This book is at the core of my practice in whatever I do. It is about explorations in natural farming by Fukuoka San from Japan. He came up with the idea of 'do nothing' farming, which inspires us to trust nature and see that we dont do the unnecessary which can harm the ecological balance while we are growing food.
I have applied these principles with my journey with self healing, unschooling and even working on relationships, so I try to see how we can nurture and create systems that can create exosystems to work holistically.
This book taught me that pain is our friend and is a feedback mechanism. It directs us to places where there is imbalance. Instead of treating it symptomatically, we need to go to the root so we can support deeper healing in our body.
I have learnt to apply the same principles in our relationships, and I see that our feelings are also like a feedback system that directs us to the needs that are responsible for creating the feelings that we may be going through. By attending to the nneeds,we can bring back the system in balance and find ways that each one of us have most of their needs met.
Toxemia by J B Tilden
This easy to read and simple book talks of how all the 'fancy' names of the diseases are a result of accumulation of toxins and our body trying to throw away those toxins causes inflamation in the parts that our conduit for throwing those toxins.
Once I got to know it changed my perception on not just dis-eases but also conflict. I see the bio mimicry between the element of toxemia in our body and how we end up dealing with conflicts by trying to cut the symptoms instead of going to the place which is creating the toxins or the conflicts in our lives.
This book is from the sharing of Vonoba ji when he was in Dhulia Jail during the freedom struggle. It talks of Gita in the context of his times, in a very simple and profound way. The book relates deep philosophies with the simple examples from our day to day life. I am especially inspired by the reflections on Karmayoga, swadharma and sthithpragya. I try to bring them in my life and work and it has added immense value to my life.
Instead of Education by John Holt
This book changed the way I looked at my own schooling journey in the most radical way and set me on a path of self designed learning. He believes that if education is about some kind of 'treatment' it will not allow for their innate beauty and desire to learning to flourish. He is also critical about our blind faith in the systems, where loose out to see the beauty and humanity of each individual. It has also given me greater faith in myself so I could walk the path of my own true calling.
Liedloff's work talks of continuing to give to the baby the feeling of the comfort of the womb even after birth by keeping them close to the mother. The child connects to the warmth and heartbeat and it adds to their sense of safety. She then goes on to learn from the ways children are brought up in indigenous communities in Venezula where the child is kept close to the mother and also in general their innate capacities to navigate the world are trusted.
Holacracy - Brian Robertson
After working with NVC and Sociocracy, I was still searching for supportive systems which give us the nuts and bolts of running businesses and organisations that work collaboratively and where each player has a sense of autonomy while creating a sustainable and inter-dependent culture . I found Holacracy to be closest to this, when it comes to setting up evolutionary organisation. Have spent time learning it and interacting with Brian Robertson for some time and am inspired by what he has created.
If we are wanting to live in a higher consciousness, then how would our organisations and businesses look like. After working in varied organisations including movements I was not satisfied with the way these groups would collaborate or not collaborate. The book calls this higher consciousness and looks at its manifestion in businesses and organisations that have walked this path. This book has inspired me to work on the idea of creating Teal Families, that are collaborative and inter-dependent.
Pabu Ji Ki Phad
While making this film I travelled through Western Rajasthan to learn about this old form of performance where the legends of local heroes and deities is shared with music and dance. A painting depicting the scenes from the lives of the legendry figures is used as a backdrop.
It is like an old form of cinema where the Bhopa and Bhopi share the story using a lamp to highlight the different part the story that are painted on the scroll that is around 10 feet by 4 feet.
The film also looks at the challenges of the performers in today's times and reminds us of the transitions that our society is going through.
This film, which was directed by me, explores the lives of three families who are inspired by natural ways of living and learning. Vinta and Bharat are into self-healing, had home birth, and didn’t give vaccines to their children. Sumi and Chandersh are unschooling their children, Qudrat and Ajanmaya. Vasant and Karuna Futane are into natural farming and live in their simple mud house with their children Vinay and Chinmay, who have been learning at home and farm and don’t go to any school.
The Man's Woman and Other Stories
Shot one of the stories in this three part film Aadmi ki aurat aur teen kahaniyan, directed by Amit Dutta. The film is based on the story by Sadat Hasan Manto and is about the challenges faced by ordinary people and especially women during the Indo Pak partition and how we became disconnected from our humanity in those times -
Kenduli Mela
Shot a film on Bauls in Bengal, and lived with them for some time, understanding their music and culture closely. Learned about the simplicity and deep wisdom of the lifestyle and practices of Bauls. This has also inspired me to live more in the culture of the gift economy and I have practised it for many years with my own work. See the film here